No." I should have been more formal, thirty thousand a year to start; I'llreview it in eight weeks." Thank you." We have a bonus scheme as well, if we...use you as a model for littlejobs." Sounds great."I took her out to the studio and introduced her to John and Cathy,Cindy and Charlene she knew. We went back to the office and introducedher to Annette. I apologised for throwing her in the deep end, butAnnette was leaving at the end of the week.I went back to my office, after just settling down,. And I sure would worship him.He grabbed my hair, asking "Did you dress fancy for me whore?"I smiled "Yes". "I bet it is very expensive, huh?" Yes, very much." Gooood."And then within the blink of an eye, he tore my babydoll in two, laughing. Here, my most expensive lingerie has become a rag in seconds. This represented the value he gave me. I was nothing but a ragdoll for him. He didn't respect anything about me. Neither me nor my feelings. He treated me like shit. I was nothing for him. And I. Cynthia was quite subdued around Carl, but I presumed this was the Master and sub part of their relationship coming out. As for Ursula and me, well, she was just herself. Being a sub did nothing to subdue her! I may have been the Master in name, but she was just Ursula, all the way, all the time. After that dinner, with little to go by, I was still uncertain of Carl and his intentions. But it was Cynthia who had to judge, and Cynthia to accept the consequences of her decisions. Ursula and I. Let it collapse and be washed away. I had beenlying to myself for too long, denying my feelings and the truth of whathad happened to me over the past two years. I had given myself whollyover to the role of being Helmut's ideal lover for so long and with suchconviction, utilizing all of my considerable acting skills in theprocess, that it had ceased to be an act. This wasn't a role I wasplaying anymore; it was who I was. Others had seen this, but I haddenied it. I would deny it no longer.Walking.
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