If our having Brenda living with us ended up ruining my relationship with Joyce, that was going to be terrible. If, instead, I ended up getting much m...re upset and angry with Mama and Joyce, for their pushing me to do this with Brenda, it would probably cause me to have another one of my withdrawals. To me, that was more terrible than having relationship problems with Joyce.What finally decided me was the uncertainty about whether adding Brenda to our relationship would have to end up being. I made no commtiment.Alone in Dave’s car as he drove me back to mine he kept asking me if I was OK and I just nodded. Nothing else was said. When he dropped me off he told me to give him a ring during the week when I felt up to it. Again I just nodded.I got into my car and drove home wondering what I was going to tell my husband about the scratches and Band Aids I was wearing. I concocted a story in my mind that was shocking enough to be believable. And my mind was playing out what really had. I walked unsteadily atop the high heels, teetering a couple times. Thetask of staying on my feet was made even more difficult by the fact thatthe skirt restricted the range of motion of my legs, but I managed tocross the floor and get out of the bathroom without going down."Oh, yah," Brogan said, wearing a broad, toothy smile as he looked me upand down. "You look real hot in those clothes!"I squirmed, feeling intensely uncomfortable."Relax, baby," he said, "I'm just going to have some fun. Soon, clutching my fake newspaper full of hot crispy scampi and feeling a little lost, I’m threading my way through the crowds of meandering day-trippers. Coloured lights blink and fluorescent tubes flicker in time to a babble of electronic and human dissonance. An engine rumbles and spits close behind me. I turn to watch a peppermint green Escort cruise slowly by. Loud, low slung, with huge arches and gleaming wheels, it oozes menace … A blast of Wilko Johnston from the stereo turns the heads.
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